on-sale blues
reflections on release week & a WoS special edition
Maybe two years ago, I took one of Maggie Stiefvater’s writing classes—partly because I am always trying to answer the question, “how do i write a book,” partly because I wish to absorb some of her magic. I’m forgetting a lot of key takeaways here, but what I do remember is this: for her, mood comes above all else. The purest form of a book is the idea of the book—the loose swirl of atmosphere and feelings and characters, uncorrupted by the imperfect thing we call language. She recommended resisting the urge to write anything down—even note-taking—for as long as you possibly can, to preserve the sanctity of the idea.
I have officially reached the point where I can no longer delay giving my next book a physical shape. This book’s concept has stuck with me for ten years now, although I haven’t preserved it in perfect idea-form. In fact, I’ve tried to write it twice before. Those attempts were many years ago, before I decided to stop trying to make it work and pivoted to writing Down Comes the Night instead. Third time’s the charm! I’m equal parts terrified and excited to try again, both because I love this idea so much. I’m scared I won’t do it justice. I’ve kept the new-project fear at bay during A Dark and Drowning Tide’s promo season, and now that it’s been out for two weeks, it is time I face it.
I’ve really enjoyed writing the ursprung essays, so I’m thinking about starting a new series in which I document the process of writing this next book. Is this something y’all would be interested in—and if so, how often and what kinds of things would you like to see? I’m thinking once the book is drafted, the series could extend into a behind the scenes type thing, where I let you know what’s going on at each stage in the process. Let me know what you think!
keep reading for
reflections on release week
preorder campaign update
signed copies of a dark and drowning tide
wings of starlight B&N exclusive
a cursed giveaway?
I’m thrilled to share that A Dark and Drowning Tide is a USA Today and Sunday Times bestseller, and she made an appearance on the extended indie bestseller list. She’s also gone back for a second printing. HAPPY SAPPHIC SEPTEMBER!1 I remain humbled and overjoyed at the support y’all have shown me and this book. Adult bestseller lists are pretty hard to crack, so it’s a huge honor to hit two of them. Thank you to my brilliant teams—and to all of you for showing up for queer stories <3 I’ve got more brewing!
Sincere apologies and gratitude to everyone who encountered me in the throes of pre-launch despair. Honestly, release weeks are always a little challenging for me—but this one was more intense than I expected. I usually tell debut authors that book launches get easier every time. By all accounts, this should have been my easiest yet. I planned social media content in advance. I’ve officially reached a point where I do not care about Goodreads, and being tagged in negative reviews just irritates me, rather than sends me into a tailspin. I occupied most of my free time—time that I once would have used to invent worries—with circus and ballet.
I intended to make it through with no issues—and without crying at all (HA!!!!). In a lot of ways, I did! I had a wonderful launch event at my local indie bookstore. The next day, I even felt brave enough to listen to the audiobook. Side note: Saskia Maarleveld delivers an incredible performance. The voices, the emotion, the tension, and YEARNING…! It was perfect. I laughed at my own jokes and felt drawn into the mystery, even though I could recite nearly every line myself. For a time, I forgot that I had written it. I finished it feeling a little bit like an exposed wire, which was more or less to be expected.
But the next morning, something in my brain completely broke.
It’s hard to say exactly what it was that did it (it was checking my B&N sales rank). I cried a lot. I couldn’t breathe so good. My stomach made valiant attempts to reject anything and everything I offered it. I could not shake the overwhelming feeling of vulnerability—and that somehow, already, I had failed. What does ‘failure’ mean in this case? Nothing. Everything. All I knew at the time was that it felt very urgent and serious. Eventually, I got myself together and when I arrived in Seattle, I walked around in the sunshine and got a hot chocolate and, ya know, that pretty much fixed the worst of it. The kindness of my readers, conversation partners, and friends got me through the rest. Some highlights:
eating some of the best chicken and waffles I’ve had
drinking one of the best hot chocolates I’ve had
reuniting with so many friends
driving around Portland with Courtney
steak bites
being told that a couple got together while reading the book?! love is real!
I share this mostly to bring the story of me and this book to a close. But also, since so many of you related to my creative struggles with ADADT, I figure it’s worth sharing the continued rough patches—and acknowledging how abject one becomes (or at least I become) when releasing a book. It’s hard to predict how you’ll feel when a piece of your soul is thrown into the world. No matter where you are in your career, feelings of precariousness and self-doubt are, I think, forever. All we can do is ride the wave for as long as it’s sustainable and worthwhile; make good friends; and make art from your soul. Here’s to the most difficult thing I’ve ever written, a book I will, despite everything, deeply cherish. Thank you for loving it when I couldn’t. It’s helped me learn to love it again, too.
preorder campaign updates
Thank you so much to everyone who entered my preorder campaign!! I’ve started packing all the envelopes and will start mailing them out this week. There is only one of me and many of you, so I apologize it’s taken me some time to get everything together. If you’re in the US and haven’t received your envelope by late October, let me know, and I’ll send you a new one. If you’re international, arrival times are a little more unpredictable, but still keep me posted! I will make sure your prints get to you. <3
And now, some stats for you! 30% of entries were Kepler’s orders, which is incredible. Looking at the remaining 70%:
53% of entries were US residents
40 countries represented
18% of entries were from independent bookstores
signed copies of a dark and drowning tide
If you’re looking for a signed copy of A Dark and Drowning Tide, you can grab one from the independent bookstores that hosted my events! Kepler’s should have plenty, but you might want to check with the others before you place your order.
wings of starlight: B&N exclusive
Those who have asked me if there will be special editions of Wings of Starlight, rejoice!! Barnes & Noble is offering an exclusive edition with an alternate colorway and designed endpapers. I am honestly OBSESSED with the purple. I don’t know how long these will last, so be sure to preorder your copy if you want one!
cursed giveaway
So, the book that wanted me dead actually did not give up until the bitter end. About two weeks before launch, my author copies of A Dark and Drowning Tide arrived. I opened the box and literally wept because they were so beautiful. If you haven’t seen one in person yet, it has a soft-touch cover and silver foil on the title; the whole package is honestly stunning. Then, I flipped open the cover and saw that the book began on page 340 :)
I cannot describe my emotional state, exactly. I think it was a numb sort of, “yeah, this might as well happen.” Honestly, through the horror, it was a little funny. What could I do? For perhaps the first time in my publishing career, a real potential nightmare scenario had happened, and I couldn’t even pretend that I was capable of managing or mitigating it. Fortunately, my publisher looked into it, and this is a very limited misprint. It’s just a law of the universe that a full case of them will be shipped directly to the author, causing maximum distress for everyone involved. I have not encountered one in the wild, but if you did happen to get one, you should be able to get a free replacement!
All this is to say… I have like 20 copies of my own book in which the ending 2 chapters have replaced the first 2 chapters. Would you like this rare, highly coveted special edition?! If so, fill out this Google form and I’ll shoot you an email to coordinate shipping. First come, first served (while supplies last). There is no title page, but I can sign and personalize uhhhh… somewhere. I’ll just ask you pay shipping ($4-5 if you’re in the US), and if you haven’t read the book before, I can send you the chapters you’re missing.
At least it was when I wrote this newsletter :( How is it October?!
I love Maggie Stiefvater’s online writing seminar. Always worth a read-watch
My favourite time is to read your newsletters 💛